Beloved Reader!

I’m sitting at an outdoor café on a proper summer afternoon, and my neighborhood is buzzing with happy Sunday energy. The streets are full of people walking and snacking; there are dogs, baby strollers, cameras... and I can hear a saxophone crooning amongst snatches of conversations and greetings, amongst the clinking of cutlery and crockery. A siren cries briefly in the distance, and I feel a warm breeze slowly caressing my shoulders. Like the song says, “Summertime, and the living is easy....”

Whenever it’s time to write a newsletter, I wait for inspiration. I call it waiting for a “download” because that’s what it feels like. A message or idea unveils itself, and I respond to it. Sometimes there is a flurry of meaningful coincidences alongside this, so I try to stay relaxed and open to the process. And I wait.

It’s always somewhat nerve-wracking.... will the well of inspiration run dry this month? Do I have anything meaningful to say? Will people like what I write? Will I like what I write? And I continue to write nonetheless... 

The discomfort and questions about self-worth always seem to be lurking in the background. But they have softened over time, and they don’t make me sweat and suffer the way they used to. And that’s progress. 

And once again I say thank you, beloved reader, for welcoming me into your mind and heart. I am grateful, and I am buoyed, by your notes of support and appreciation. It is pure magic to hear from even one person who tells me she received exactly the message that she needed to hear. Magic. And you inspire me to keep going!

This month’s downloaded theme is ease. Even the word itself ..... e a s e .... rolls over my tongue and makes me feel smoother and lighter. As I reflect on ease, I also consider its opposite. Looking at both sides of the coin sharpens my focus. I contemplate the feeling of going with the flow, and then I contemplate the feeling of swimming against the current. The first is relaxing and spacious, and the second makes me tense up right away. How about you?

I continue to write because I’ve always been afraid of writing, even though I’d really like to write well. Life is full of paradoxes! I love the aspects of Yoga that give me encouragement and techniques to face my psychological blocks and to loosen their hold on me. Ways to return to primordial ease: to “re ease”. Add the “l” and you have release! Ease is so much kinder to my nervous system, my adrenal glands, my digestion, and my organs. It removes complications, it conserves energy. 

I was raised to be a perfectionist. I was raised to compete in order to stand out. I was supposed to be the smartest, and I was supposed to be the thinnest and the prettiest. All of this, in order to be worthy of love. Ugh, it’s exhausting to perpetuate this kind of hyper-vigilance. Always lacking, always needing another thing or practice in order to have worth.... the message is that one is never enough. And the message is that others decide whether one is enough... a no-win situation.

I do believe in self-improvement. Life is full of lessons and growth. The road towards self-actualization is long. It’s actually not true that I or anyone else is lacking; in fact, we are already enough. It is a radical thing to say “I am enough” and to believe it. We are all loaded up with heavy expectations that come from the outside and the inside... and no human walks this earth without some suffering or trauma; we all have burdens that weigh us down.

These days I picture inner growth as a form of decluttering, of simplification. To strip off the things that bind and limit us; this is what will reveal the sweet enoughness of our own true shiny natures. 

I choose to pick up the instruments of kindness, breath, reiki, self-study, yoga, faith, to name a few. I try to follow the thread of Joy throughout my life. She inspires me, she keeps my pilot light lit, and she leads me on excellent adventures.

And right now, she is leading me into the exploration of ease. I am practising the fine art of allowing flow. And of shedding the thought forms that feed resistance. 

When I tell myself that writing is hard, it is. And then I am left swimming against the current, creating my own stress. (Who needs more of that, amirite?) But when I sit at a café on a summer afternoon and keep myself aligned with ease, everything relaxes. Life flows. And words flow. Ease is a choice, and it is a relief to put aside any struggle.

This may not be the article I pictured myself writing, but it is born out of my best (easeful) efforts. I trust this to be enough. 

And this is why I write. And this is why I keep faithful to a path of inner transformation and growth. The healing journey is infinite; why not embrace it lovingly in the spirit of ease?

I send you Reiki Blessings and Divine Ease. 

Your heart sister,
Karusia 

I send you Reiki Blessings and Divine Ease.

From your heart sister,

~ Karusia Nirmala