~Winter Mother Protection ~ by Wendy Andrews ~

This month I have been thinking a lot about surrender. What does it mean to hold on, and what does it mean to let go gracefully?

It seems that all clinging leads to suffering. If we hold tightly to an identity that is outdated, or an expectation of how things “should be”, we will perceive more pain than necessary. It is one thing to feel disappointment and loss, and even to grieve; these are natural and healthy. It is another thing entirely to force the river of life to bend to our ego desires.... it will only end in tears and constriction of vitality. It could even end in illness.

Currently, I am personally feeling a keen pull between youth and age. Eternal youth is held up as an ideal in our surrounding culture, especially for women, and particularly in my vocations of dance and yoga. And youth is fresh and vibrant; it is indeed beautiful and inspiring! Its bloom is intoxicating and full of promise. Yet, this bloom will fade as it runs its course; this is part of the cycle of life. If we define ourselves with this bloom as our primary identity, we will suffer when our hair turns grey and wrinkles appear, and we may go overboard to keep them at bay.

Transitions are not always easy. It is human nature to resist change, and this is generally based upon fearing the unknown. Heavy thoughts tie our energy up in knots. It is normal to have a period of grieving, of confusion and doubt, and even denial, bargaining and depression. We are mourning a death, an ending of a chapter. We need to be gentle with ourselves as we journey through this phase. It is important to appreciate the gifts of the past, and to let them rest. All things arise and dissolve in time, and the grief will eventually come to its natural ending. 

And then, what? Let’s remember that when one door closes, another one opens. This too, is Life’s Way. 

My time with the crone archetype this fall is helping me to surrender to change, and to relax into the fallow time between what was and what will be. I am also drawn to search out role models of wise feminine elders. Here is a link that got me started, and brought me a lot of delight.

Some old passions and identities no longer suit, and this brings up feelings of sadness, bewilderment and resignation in me. And I want to run away! But that does not help. Leaning into the discomfort with compassion for myself isn’t always easy, but it always brings truth and clarity. It is a time to breathe: slowly, smoothly and gently. Surrender to what is, and let the medicine of breath loosen any knots that bind. Add loving kindness, lots of it! A great deal of energy is tied up in resistance and fear; once cleared, this energy is again available for moving forward. Be open to any intuition or insights that emerge from within, they will show you the way. 

Stay the course. Gently turn your mind and heart towards thought patterns that continue to liberate your beautiful life force energy. It is time to shine.